Meeting Howard

So far, I have been focusing on things that happened in the past, carefully avoiding what I feel right now. There's a reason for that. I don't want to go. I want to hide in the bushes and make it go away. I'm actually feeling quite healthy, so I start to harbor doubts that I really need surgery. But everything is planned. My patients are aware that I'm taking this break. My referral sources have been apprised as well. Friends have offered lots of support. I feel my family's love for me. Matt is flying in. I guess there isn't any turning back now. Maybe, it'll be fun.

This reminds me of my first marriage. I knew it wouldn't work. I remember thinking, as the rabbi recited the old Hebrew text, "There's always divorce." But, it wouldn't have been cool for me to chime in, when they asked if anyone had good cause why this couple should not be wed. The caterers had been paid, and I must admit, the food was good.

I should speak up now. I have good cause for not having the operation. It's gonna hurt. They're going to break open my chest and insert a lot of tubes ... and you know where.

Anyway, let's get to the topic of today's post: Meeting Howard. A few weeks ago, I learned that Howard went to the hospital, and that he, too, had heart surgery. I kind of envied him, getting it over when things first happened. I would have preferred if they just did it then, when I was in the hospital in February. But they sent me home, knowing I'd have to come back.

Maryka and I met with Howard and Jane, last Monday. We were going to bring food to Jane's house, but she insisted on going to a restaurant instead. We met. Had a great time. Howard looked great -- upbeat, light-hearted, doing very well, and only 20 days after his heart operation. Pain, I asked him? Not really, he said. Discomfort, but not that much pain.

Thank God (or for us Secular UUs, thank whatever) for Howard. We really had fun, and I think it helped me feel a little better about what is coming up. I'm ready to go ... I think.